DiezconMimaMima & me (my 10th birthday)

In my mind, I never could live up to my mother’s expectations.  I felt she thought a woman should be beautiful, svelte, witty and an amazing housekeeper – I was not blessed with any of those attributes.  I don’t consider myself hideous, but certainly fall short in the beauty department, my weight  has been a constant battle, my sense of humor is a bit strange and not always appreciated, as for my housekeeping, let’s just say it’s as misunderstood as my sense of humor.

I never did ask her what her expectations, if any, were.  I was afraid to confirm her disapproval.  Her acceptance was too important to me.  I fought in vain to be what I am not.  Actually I am still doing it.  But maybe I am projecting my insecurities and it’s not my mother’s acceptance that I still seek, but my own.

My mother is now gone, but on this Mother’s Day I am reaching out to her in Heaven with a message that as I grow older I understand her more and that I know she gave me the greatest gift of all – her love.

Happy Mother’s Day Mima!

whiteroseMírame, Madre, y por tu amor no llores
si esclavo de mi edad y mis doctrinas
tu mártir corazón llené de espinas
piensa que nacen, entre espinas, flores

Jose Marti

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